and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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