Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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