the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
