Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
