how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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