Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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