her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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