you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
