Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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