from now on my penis is your penis
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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