So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize