He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
