He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
