When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This house was built for laser tag.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Randomize
