a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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