I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That accounts for only three of the penises
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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