i was born a porn star she said
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
