it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
