The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
