Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
