I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
