I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
