But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
