I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize