im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
