walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
