with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
