I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
