she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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