is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
