i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
