Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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