I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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