So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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