And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize