come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
