I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You're like the curious george of whores
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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