It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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