a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
