Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize