Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
