We're facebook friends in real life
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
