You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
