I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
