I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She told me I should be a condom model.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
