Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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