All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
