"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
