YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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