It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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