i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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