I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
