i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
operation have a gay friend backfired
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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