I got chris browned last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
