Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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