She went from zero to smokin in five shots
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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