hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
