I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
